Zvi Band Relationships are our most important asset.

The Insane Value of Small Talk

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As I’ve dug more and more into how we build relationships online and off, the topic of small talk keeps coming up. It’s pretty easy to beat up on small talk – the weather, traffic, weekend plans – as mindless dribble between people who really want depth. Our muscle of relationship-building is atrophying, leaving us to seemingly only talk about the lowest-common-denominator.

I’ve strangely found that small talk, when used appropriately, can be incredibly powerful. For starters, it’s far too easy to steamroll right into the transactional purpose of an interaction, so the social norm of small talk creates a socially acceptable opening to go way off topic. How one goes off-topic is the key. With the right harmless questions, and most importantly, the follow-up to that, you can go behind the facade of ones’ professional presence, and understand more about who they are. Weekend recaps can lead to discussions of family structure, favorite pastimes, and general priorities. Talking about work can lead to discussions around why they chose that career, and what’s most exciting for them.

The next time you find yourself in a dreary discussion about weather/traffic/weekends – use it as an opportunity to go a level deeper.

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By Zvi
Zvi Band Relationships are our most important asset.

Zvi Band

Founder of Contactually.
I'm also passionate about growing the DC startup community, and I've founded Proudly Made in DC and the DC Tech Meetup.

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